Lightning Real Talk #3: Relationships: Living with them and without them

Photo by:  Karen Santos , Hair and Makeup by:  Lindsay Dabalos

Photo by: Karen Santos, Hair and Makeup by: Lindsay Dabalos

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 

When I was younger, I thought that being in a relationship was the answer to all of my problems. I sought partnership in every area of my life (Moon in Libra and born a twin!) But, no matter what I did, I had an overwhelming sense of ennui, and sometimes still do around this issue. 

Is it better to be single and “free”? Or is it more fulfilling to be paired and sometimes unhappy? 

Listening to my single friends and clients, I hear the same messages..

 “When will that special person arrive?” 

 “Is there something wrong with me?”

I can confidently tell you that after being in a relationship for over 6 years, that the waves of emotions and emotional outbursts are still present. Having a partner presents its own issues and trials. 

I assure you that even the most "instagram-worthy" couples have fights. Sleep in different rooms sometimes. Agree to disagree. Walk away angry. And wonder what it would be like to be single again. 

People in relationships don’t have everything figured out. Even the ones who have been married for years and years. 

So, whether you are single, dating, happily solo, or in a relationship, I encourage you to find ways to love yourself. Go after your dreams. Go dancing. Go for it. Don’t let a relationship or lack of relationship stop you from being unapologetically YOU. You didn’t come here, to this body, or planet, to only seek partnership. You came here to share your unique gift. You came here to contribute. You came here to grow. 

So, if you are experiencing a feeling of emptiness or fear around this issue, don’t miss out on your beautiful life. Find creative solutions. And be the best partner you can be to yourself.