Lightning Real Talk #1: When You're Lost, Go Back to the Beginning

Photo by:  Karen Santos , Hair and Makeup by:  Lindsay Dabalos

Photo by: Karen Santos, Hair and Makeup by: Lindsay Dabalos

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 

There was a time I believed in magic. A time when anything was possible. Imaginary friends roamed my hallways. Fairies were real. And then came adolescent voices, calling me the Blair B*tch. (I might have been okay with the real name..)

The judgment. The anger. I shut it off. I shut it all off. To keep myself safe. But with that safety, came defensiveness. With shutting off my intuition came confusion about my own identity. Wounds that are still healing today.

Sensitivity still owned my existence no matter what I did. What was a blessing, felt like a curse. I still hear teachers saying, "she needs to develop thicker skin" over and over again.

That thick skin never came to be. With all the magic and wonder shut off, what was left was vulnerability. A bird without feathers. An ocean of possibility without water. Rage that bubbled up like lava.

I'd like to say that now I don't feel this way. But, sometimes, the world asks me to shut it all down again. I won't this time. Not for anyone, or anything.  And I hope you don't either. Find new ways to protect yourself, while keeping the magic alive.

Sensitivity is my greatest gift. And it is also yours. And that's why I believe in magic. What is seen as weakness by others, is actually strength. If you've shut it all off, it's time to turn it back on. The world needs your gift.

I reached the end, so in my adulthood, I've gone back to the magic and wisdom of the beginning.