Lightning Real Talk #5: Perfection Paralysis

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 

I have to admit that before today, my house was a complete mess for a month. Unmade beds. Unfolded laundry. Refrigerator full of left overs. Paperwork everywhere. You get the idea.

As each day passed, I felt more and more angry at myself. The guilt was eating away at me, as tumbleweeds of dust bunnies rolled by. I was waiting for the perfect weather. The perfect amount of energy to start an epic cleaning project. I wanted it to be done in one day, also...because I thrive when there’s a deadline. But, that wasn't a reasonable goal for myself.

I was suffering from Perfection Paralysis. I had set the bar so high in my mind, that starting any of it was too overwhelming. But, in this state of paralysis I was missing out on some serious moments for gratitude:

I am grateful I have a place to live.

I am grateful that I am so busy, there isn’t time for cleaning.

I am grateful for FOOD in my fridge and RUNNING WATER.

The emotional effort I spent on the desire for perfection could have actually been used to clean my house…funny how that works, huh?

If you don't start something, you won't finish. You're probably not going to excel all the time. You might be meeting your income goals for the month, but your sink is full of dishes. You may be enjoying social gatherings and brand new friendships, but your romantic partnership suffers. You may be picking up kids on time and making bag lunches, but you haven't washed your hair in a week. We only have two hands. And, the guilt we carry, right in the middle of our gut, weighs us down, and does not contribute to the cause.

Perfection is not warm and friendly. It's sterile. Dry. And, can also be boring. I can guarantee that the most successful people you can think of have house cleaners. And, personal assistants. And who says that’s perfection? I get serious gratification from cleaning my own bathroom…Especially when it has been dirty and bothering me for weeks.

I can only do one thing at a time. The dishes will get cleaned eventually. But, this moment of creativity and fire fades fast, so I want to catch it.

If I get too wrapped up in perfect, I'll never get anything done. I'll slump on my couch, waiting for someone to tell me I'm enough. And you know, that might not ever happen. So, I'm not going to wait.

If keeping your house clean and slaying your personal life is what makes you happy, then do it. If you can balance your responsibilities, and still manage to have clean underwear all the time, then do it. But don't be afraid to let the little things slip to accommodate for bigger, expansive, and important things. I can guarantee, that no one will mention how clean your house was when you are long gone. They will talk about the energy you brought to a room. The way you smiled. And, how amazing you were as a person.

Clean dishes and toilets are a bonus in life. The perfection, the real fruit, is in experience, love, growth, and healing.  And, I don't know about you, but those all sound like messy, complicated, worthwhile, and beautiful things to focus on.

No one ever climbed a mountain standing still. Start moving slowly in the direction of your goals, and you will meet them. Movement is a key ingredient. Today is the “perfect” day to get started.


Lightning Real Talk #4: NSFW Manifesting

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 


If you’re laughing or uncomfortable with this topic, this article is not for you. Or, maybe it’s exactly what you need. 

Orgasm is the oldest form of manifestation that exists. It is literally where we are created, and yet connecting with our bodies has always been taboo, especially when used for magical and ritualistic purposes. 

The second chakra or energy center, called the “Svadhishthana” or Sacral chakra is located in your pelvic area. This is where we experience pleasure, access creativity, and abundance. When this area is out of alignment, you might find it difficult to balance your finances, feel guilt around receiving pleasure, or may be creatively blocked.

I personally have struggled a lot with this particular chakra throughout my life, which is why I am so passionate about this subject. I often felt uncomfortable receiving money in the past. I was out of tune with my own sexual desires. I was creatively blocked, and frustrated. 

To be honest, I was hesitant to write this article because of the stigma that sex holds in our society. But, I do myself a disservice and others by keeping this important work hidden. And, I invite you to stop reading here if this is not what you need right now. 

We cannot deny the power of our bodies any longer, especially with an administration that seeks to control them so wrongfully. The body is a temple, but it is also a tool we have been given. Use it wisely, and watch magic happen in your life. 

Here is a manifestation technique that has truly changed my life, the way I see myself, and my perspective about sex: 

1. During self-pleasure, or intimacy with another, guide your thoughts to the feeling of receiving what it is you want. Focus less on the form, and more on the feeling.              

Ex. How does it feel to receive a big check in the mail? H ow does it feel to get the exact job or house you want? How does it feel to find the partner you’ve been waiting for?”

2. Keep these images or words in your mind throughout the act. It may be challenging to focus on this and reach the final destination. Practice makes perfect. 

3. When you reach orgasm, say a word in your mind or aloud that encapsulates what it is you are manifesting. Simplicity is bliss. 

Ex. “Abundance” “Clarity” “Expansion” “Power”

I know this seems silly at first glance, but I promise you that it works. And, even if it doesn’t work for you, it’s worth a shot. Because sometimes we need a little help getting what we want, and only we have the power to create it. 

You don’t need a new crystal, deity statue, or self-help book to manifest your desires. The power you seek is already within. Reclaim your body and use the magic that is available in you. 


I am grateful for the work and writing of  Amanda Moreno, and Sophie Saint Thomas who inspired me to try this practice. 

Lightning Real Talk #3: Relationships: Living with them and without them

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 

When I was younger, I thought that being in a relationship was the answer to all of my problems. I sought partnership in every area of my life (Moon in Libra and born a twin!) But, no matter what I did, I had an overwhelming sense of ennui, and sometimes still do around this issue. 

Is it better to be single and “free”? Or is it more fulfilling to be paired and sometimes unhappy? 

Listening to my single friends and clients, I hear the same messages..

 “When will that special person arrive?” 

 “Is there something wrong with me?”

I can confidently tell you that after being in a relationship for over 6 years, that the waves of emotions and emotional outbursts are still present. Having a partner presents its own issues and trials. 

I assure you that even the most "instagram-worthy" couples have fights. Sleep in different rooms sometimes. Agree to disagree. Walk away angry. And wonder what it would be like to be single again. 

People in relationships don’t have everything figured out. Even the ones who have been married for years and years. 

So, whether you are single, dating, happily solo, or in a relationship, I encourage you to find ways to love yourself. Go after your dreams. Go dancing. Go for it. Don’t let a relationship or lack of relationship stop you from being unapologetically YOU. You didn’t come here, to this body, or planet, to only seek partnership. You came here to share your unique gift. You came here to contribute. You came here to grow. 

So, if you are experiencing a feeling of emptiness or fear around this issue, don’t miss out on your beautiful life. Find creative solutions. And be the best partner you can be to yourself. 

Weekly Lightning Reading: June 24th-July 2nd

Here’s your Weekly Lightning Reading! An overview of the energy of this week, this time featuring my favorite Cancer songbirds. The theme is INSPIRATION! 

For the beginning of the week, The Page of Cups inspires you to tap into your creativity and intuition. It’s a good time to follow your impulses, even if they don’t seem “logical” or “realistic.” Embody a childlike point of view. With this gift of creative energy, you are also very in tune with your emotions. Get out the tissue! It is Cancer season after all.. 

“…You're a legend in your own time. A hero in the footlights.”—Carly Simon

For the middle of the week, The 8 of Wands signifies a time of fast movement, and enthusiasm. All difficulties and blocks have lifted, it’s time to get going! You are reaching a point of completion with something that no longer suits you, and can expect the beginning of a new opportunity to arrive shortly. Take advantage of this energy! It’s a great time for networking, going on a trip, and taking action. Be deliberate, but focused!  

"How's it feel to win it? When ain't no mountains that you can't move.” —Solange, “I Decided” 

This weekend, The Page of Discs gives you a similar message as the 8 of Wands. Remain focused on manifestation and putting clear plans in place! In the midst of new ideas and creative drive, it’s easy to get distracted and keep your head in the clouds. This card wants you to stay grounded and put your energy into practical tasks. It’s a good time to put your ideas on paper. Write a business plan. Make a list of goals. Create a vision board.

"Let's find a light inside our universe now. Where ain't nobody keep on holdin’ us down.” —Ariana Grande, “Focus” 

Do you like this weekly reading? Share with your friends! 

Tarot Cards designed by: The Lady Of Lightning

Brooke Dabalos
Lightning Real Talk #2: The Gift of Disappointment

Lightning Real Talk: True stories from my life that have inspired the work I do today. 

I was prepared. I had all the supplies and materials to teach a workshop in Portland, and one in Seattle a few days later. Everything seemed to be planned perfectly. It was a new concept I was trying out. Merging healing, and art together. What could go wrong?


I arrived at the Portland workshop, and no one showed up.

I started my drive up to Seattle for workshop #2, and my car broke down 1 hour from my destination. 

Needless to say, I was pissed. Throwing my hands up to the heavens. Enraged, disappointed, and angry…cue me crying in the tow truck. Luckily the driver was wise and said, “It could have been much worse.” He was right. I was safe. My car was broken, but in tact for the most part. I needed to change my attitude. 

That was a difficult day in retrospect, sure. But, the next day, while having tea in Portland, I walked into Anjali Healing Center, and a whole new world of opportunities arrived for me. When the day before was a complete disaster! The universe was sneakily guiding me to a new place to provide my services..right in own my backyard. 

Today, that workshop is called Tarot Collage. A similar concept, but it took a year of experimentation, healing, break downs, and break throughs to get there. Clarity couldn’t have happened without those two redirections.

We’ve all experienced disappointments like this. I urge you to find the beauty in them. We are one bad day away from our dream circumstance. The moment of surrender is close by..even if tears and anger are in the way. Travel back to a place of gratitude. You might not see the reason for your heartache right now. But, you will. 

A year later, those disappointments are little blinks on the radar. As I have more clarity about what’s right for me, the things that are not in alignment fall away quickly…and that is something to be thankful for.